I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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