Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
