so that wasnt chicken after all
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize