literally had 100 drinks last night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
