you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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