where does the pee come out of this thing
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
