you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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