If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize