i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize