Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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