People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
