how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
