After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
