I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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