She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
