would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
