Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
