I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
