OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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