what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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