im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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