I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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