Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
