Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
