eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
