I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize