So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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