420 ftw
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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