that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
