I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize