Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
