I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
