based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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