Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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