I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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