i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
