69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
soo... how was my night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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