dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
a search helicopter?!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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