he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
