is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
