grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Two words: blizzard sex
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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