apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
