I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
