I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
