...so i touched it.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
