cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
as a side note pls kill me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
