is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
