It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
