Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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