had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
