What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
