Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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